Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize