sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
