We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
