its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
