Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
