5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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