So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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