Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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