thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
