Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
