apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Come on in and take your pants off
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