you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
