She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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