i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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