Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
