fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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