My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
