when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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