just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
