She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
