did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize