You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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