i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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