But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
