Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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