i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
