I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
