she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
