Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
