Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
