So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
