i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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