Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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