Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
