Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
