I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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