win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
