Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
and she was petting her beer can
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
