pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
