I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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