I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
