I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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