It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
