I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
