If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
