So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
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