My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
