All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Boobs speak an international language.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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