Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
