who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
