hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
