i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Michael Bay diarrhea
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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