The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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