Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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