i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
