from now on my penis is your penis
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
