We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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