She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize