So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
