On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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