I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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