puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
