Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
