covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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