guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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