we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
