That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Panties = found
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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