and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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