i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
actually, I'm a sock model
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
