his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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