does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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